I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize