i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I deserve this hangover.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
