4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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