ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
