before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
