I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
