How'd it feel making her break her religion?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
