I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize