Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
