and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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