He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
one might say we're banned from that church
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
