He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
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Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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