God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
