Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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