If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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