dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize