Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
