Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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