So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
