Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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