Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
