the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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