Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
