Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
