it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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