omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize