If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Randomize