Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
