so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
