My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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