i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
