Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
