is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Randomize
