I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
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I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
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I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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