this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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