Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
