Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
