hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
