you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
