put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I can text with my tongue
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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