IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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