Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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