Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
