im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
