I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
