Apparently you make a good broom.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
