I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
