Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
