Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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