The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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