i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
