The maid of honor just puked.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
PANTIES FOUND
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