you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
