Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
