I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So much rum. So many feels.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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