Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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