Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
