mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Terrible idea I love it
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
