hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
