Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
this boner is exhausting
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize