Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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